BUILDING GOOD COMMUNICATION HABITS ~ ESPECIALLY WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

Good communication is vital for building and maintaining healthy relationships of all kinds. Clear and effective communication builds trust and deepens connections with family, friends and loved ones. It also helps resolve conflicts respectfully and effectively.

This is the foundation for a healthy humanity. Without healthy communication, things can get pretty confusing, and easily misunderstood. Especially, when dealing with humans who aren't able to practice healthy communication.

So how do we handle communication with difficult people?

Simple put...WITH LOVE.

Yoga teaches us to practice AHIMSA in all that we do and say. The word ahimsa means to practice non-violence. It means total avoidance of any harm to any and all living creature, including ourselves. Ahimsa is a vital part of Yoga Philosophy. It is one of the YAMAS from Patanjali's Yoga Sutras. Practicing communication with love and not with violence, is one BIG way to practice AHIMSA.

Learning and practicing strong, loving, and effective communication takes practice for sure! It takes time to understand how to communicate our thoughts, feelings and emotions in a way that is effective, and not not harming to ourselves or to others. The hardest thing to learn, is the art of having difficult conversations. Most of us either avoid conflict or we put on our "Armor" for a rumble. Neither of these options helps effectively resolve conflict.

Sometimes it takes LOVE to speak the things that are truthful. This is not an act of violence. It is clearly loving the person and yourself. It's all is the delivery. Humbling ourselves to speak truth is a yoga practice.

The most beautiful and unpredictable outcomes can come from the most difficult moments and conversations, if the intent is to LOVE and not harm.

Here are some ways to practice AHIMSA when communicating with people:

• Use people’s names when speaking to them – they feel seen and respected, which breaks tension.

  
  

  When someone raises their voice, lower yours – emotional regulation beats aggression every time.

  
  

• When someone tries to pressure you to decide fast, slow down – urgency is a manipulation tool; calmness returns control to you.

•  Silence after a question forces honesty – people reveal more when they are uncomfortable filling gaps.

• Hold eye contact a bit longer – it makes people doubt their own confidence and shifts power to you.

•  Say “Let me think about it” instead of giving instant answers – this protects you from emotional decisions.

• Repeat their words back to them (So you are saying…”) this weakens a manipulator because they are losing their audience.

• Ask questions instead of defending yourself – it flips the switch and makes the other person justify their position.

  
  

• Stop explaining yourself too much – over-explaining is a sign of insecurity, and people exploit it.

• Don’t react instantly to insults – delayed responses confuse and unsettle manipulators.

• Learn to say NO without excuses – real power is refusing without feeling guilty.

• Control your facial expressions – emotional poker face keeps people from reading and using your feelings.

  
  

• Reward and acknowledge good communication, ignore manipulation – attention is the strongest reinforcement tool.

• Don’t share everything about your life – mystery protects you and increases respect. Trust needs to be earned.

• Set consequences and hold yourself and others accountable to them – boundaries without consequences are just wishes.

• Accept compliments without rejecting them – people respect those comfortable with their own worth.

  
  

• Stay unpredictable – predictability makes you very easy to control and manipulate; unpredictability breaks mental patterns.

  
  

• Lower your expectations – It's also a yoga practice to not live with expectations. When you expect less, nobody can emotionally manipulate you with disappointment.

• Don’t argue with someone emotional – wait for their emotional wave to crash, then speak with logic.

• Speak slowly and clearly – rushing can indicate anxiety or insecurity; calm communication is received better.

• Be comfortable with silence – there is a calm strength in silence once we learn that it's not awkward.

• Never beg for attention – begging destroys respect; distance rebuilds it.

• Watch actions, not words – manipulators talk beautifully, but the truth is always in patterns.

• Notice what people joke about – jokes reveal hidden truths and intentions.

• Don’t respond to passive aggressive behavior – starve manipulation of emotional fuel.

• Use scarcity –Less becomes more when you understand that your time, energy, and presence are valuable and can't be given away.

• Say less – Only say what is necessary. Strength lies in what you contain, not what you release.

  
  

• If they don’t respect your first boundary, leave – repeated explanations don’t create respect, consequences do.

• Be willing to walk away from anyone – the person who is willing to walk away peacefully is practicing AHIMSA.