Cohabitating Mindfully ~ Sharing Space is Sharing Energy
Sharing a living space with others can be really tricky. Everyone has their quirks, personalities and needs.
We all have different places that we call home. No matter where or what our home is, that is our sanctuary. It's our place of refuge, rest, safety and comfort. It's the place that holds us in a cocoon so we can recharge and dream up ideas. When sharing any type of space, especially living space, it's crucial to make a sincere effort to become aware of each persons thoughts and feelings. This is essential to creating peace within the space. The goal is to create a unified space where everyone's needs are met.
We also need to remind ourselves that everything we feel, can be felt from others in the space. Peace will most likely not be felt in a messy space. Remember, Yoga and Ayurveda focus on the 5 senses in relationship to everything. So seeing dirty dishes in the sink, loud noises, unpleasant smells, dirty counter tops or grit under your feet, will likely be unsettling to someone. Yoga and Ayurveda also teach us that our subtle body (energetic body) is affected by anger, rage, grief, depression, pain, joy, or excitement. We've all experienced being around someone in a deep emotional state of some sort. It's impossible not to feel that energy. It takes a deep level of self awareness and self love to be able to properly communicate this to other people in the space. No one should endure another's negative emotional state. All parties in the living space need to have respectful communication and acknowledgment of the emotions present, no matter how difficult it may be. This takes work from all parties.
The key to cohabitating peacefully is communication without anger. What might be utterly annoying to one person, may be completely okay to another. Here's where the art of acceptance comes in. One person's way of living, isn't better that the other's. It's just different. Learning how to navigate this within yourself, and with the other, is a form of Sadhana, from a yogic perspective.
Through this practice we may find that one person enjoys being the dishwasher, while the other enjoys taking out the trash or sweeping the floors. Instead of holding anger, we come to a place of acceptance and resolution. Working along side one another, as opposed to against each other, creates positive energy in the living space. Anger and hostility have a host of negative effects on our bodies, minds, and living space.
When people cohabitate, they should be able to mindfully work with each persons schedule. One person should be able to listen to her favorite music, or exercise, or meditate, while the other is reading or catching up with friends on the phone. This shouldn't be bothersome to either one. When there's an agitation about something. It needs to be lovingly addressed right away. This requires top notch communication skills. This takes lots of practice, but effective and loving communication can be learned.
Pent up resentment towards our living partners can easily be felt. So, keeping open lines of communication and practicing courtesy toward the shared space is a daily practice. A daily practice is called a Sadhana. It takes work and loving awareness to keep the energy of the space neutral and uplifting. Another part of this practice is the art of compromise. Peacefully cohabitating may require schedule adjustments, or tweaking daily habits, for the greater good of the space. This should always be done with he intention of uplifting the other, and uplifting the space.
Living with others can teach us a lot about ourselves. It may push us to our limit at times, but this is how we learn, grow and evolve. This can teach us how to have healthy conversations, and healthy boundaries at home, work and out in the world in ways that benefit everyone around is.
This is the ripple effect of a daily practice, or Sadhana.
