Introvert or Extrovert ~ That is The?

You might be wondering why this topic is significant.

At LLWS, everything that we do helps us learn and understand ourselves better.

So, let's take a dive into how the concept of Introvert vs. Extrovert can help us learn and grow in ways we may not have thought about.

To start, let's answer these short questions.

This will help determine if you are more introverted or more extroverted.

Answer each question with Yes or No.

1.    Do large crowds, loud places, or talking to a lot of people make your feel tired, drained or overwhelmed?

2.    Do you like being alone or with just one close friend, or in a small group? 

3.    Do you prefer to think things through before you speak or act? 

4.    Do you love meeting new people or joining group events?

5.    Do you feel excited and happy after being in a group of people? 

If you answered Yes to most of the first 3 questions, you are likely an introvert.

If you said No to most of them and Yes to number 5, you are probably an extrovert.

If your answers are mixed, you might be an ambivert.

That means you have some traits of both.

Before we go any further, let me share that I don't love giving things labels because we tend to identify ourselves through that label. This has the potential to keep us stuck to a label or belief about ourselves.

Instead what we are trying to do is, get UNSTUCK, not create more STUCKNESS.

The more we understand ourselves, the more we can move towards better care for ourselves.

We don't know what we don't know...but when we know, we can choose to do something to help ourselves...or not.

So, WHY is it helpful to know if you are an introvert or an extrovert or somewhere in between?

It DEEPLY helps a person understand how to regulate their ENERGY

and NERVOUS SYSTEM. One isn't better than the other, they are just different.

It's about how your brain and body use energy. While one end sees crowds as fuel,

the other sees it them as depleting. When we understand this about ourselves and our loved ones, it can make a huge impact on how to practice self-care, and care for others.

It is also a BIG factor in understanding and improving communication. We are all wired differently and when we understand what we need, and WHY we need what we need, we can communicate it to our near and dear ones.

For example, when couples, siblings, or friends understand how they each expend or gain energy, they can take better care of each other. Respect and kindness go a long way. So do clear words, gentle plans, flexibility and quiet time when needed.

What Do Introverts Need?

In a nutshell, Introverts need time and space. They need uninterrupted alone time to recover from social stimulation. A quiet room, or designated space where they can retreat is often a requirement. They need processing time, and hate being put on the spot. An introvert often craves meaningful connections and substantial discussions over small talk. They prefer non-pressure settings where people are comfortable sharing physical space without feeling the need to fill every quiet moment with conversation. Introverts need loved ones to understand and respect their social limits. Don't pressure them into overextending themselves or make them feel guilty for choosing to stay home instead of engaging in a social activity. In many cases, they will seek social time when they are ready.

What Do Extroverts Need?

In a nutshell, extroverts need activity and social connection. They need to spend time in groups, with friends or coworkers to feel alive and motivated. Busy settings are more satisfying than isolated spaces. Exproverts typically are more verbal in their processing. They need to "Think out loud," and talk through ideas with others, rather than processing quietly. This needs to be understood and accepted by loved ones. Their talkative nature isn't meant to crowd people out. It's just how they process thought and move energy. They can engage in meaningful conversations as long as it doesn't become too boring or lethargic for them. Extroverts run the risk of experiencing social burnout, or just burnout in general, because they tend to skip rest for the sake of engaging in an activity. Even their rest, tends to be more of an active type of rest.

What Do Ambiverts Need?

In a nutshell, Ambiverts fall somewhere in the middle of the introvert-extrovert scale. Some ambiverts lean more towards introversion, and some lean more towards extroversion.

Ambiverts have the ability to adapt to different situations, but they definitely NEED to have flexibility in their lifestyle in order to accommodate both high-energy environments and quiet downtime. This type can be a tricky one to manage. One one hand, they can tolerate and enjoy social and group stimulation, but they do need ample time to be quiet and recharge. The key to managing ambiverts is balance. They can enjoy being around people, but they may lean towards more meaningful and purposeful interactions. Ambiverts need to have the flexibility needed to switch roles as needed, rather than being locked into one role. This doesn't work for them. The tricky thing about Ambiverts is they NEED to set really clear boundaries so that they can pull back when they need to. They also run the risk of burnout if they don't monitor and take care of their energy levels. While they are strong communicators, they also need space to process quietly. One day they can be buzzing around, and the next day they need complete solitude.

Building Self-Awareness:

Some of us may have spent years feeling "Bad," about why we need so much alone time, or why we find intimate settings "Boring." Time goes by, relationships become compromised because one wants to be out all the time, one wants to be in all the time. The tension builds, the communication breaks down, and we blame the other for not understanding or respecting our needs, we hold resentment, and we internally feel horrible because we can't explain why we need these things. The answer often is, "Because that's just the way I am." This doesn't help anyone understand themselves or the situation at hand. This is just an example of how things can play out and unravel.

So, let's take a look at how this can help you build self-awareness and grow, without feeling bad, shameful, or guilty for your behaviors. Keep in mind, being aware of your type, is only one piece of this puzzle. Proper communication is another key component in this equation.

The more we understand WHY we need certain things, the more confidence we gain in ourselves. The more confidence we gain, we begin to trust ourselves, and it only goes UP from there. The downward spiral starts to reverse into an upward, elevating experience, internally. So, then what happens is we feel comfortable enough explaining what we need in order to maintain our equanimity.

Equanimity is a steadiness of mind, an emotional balance, and a non-reactivity that we practice in Yoga. In one way or another, we are all striving for some level of equanimity without realizing it, or giving it a fancy name. At the end of the day, every single human desires the same thing, peace, fulfillment, meaningful relationships, and internal happiness or joy.

Learning non-harming methods of communication is crucial to deepening the relationship with yourself and with everyone in your life. It all starts with your self-talk.

If the dialogue with yourself is negative and/or violent, that will be outwardly expressed in some way shape or form, whether we realize it or not. If your self-talk is a dialogue of curiosity, seeking understanding, and open to learning, that will naturally be outwardly expressed in some way shape or form as well. When we begin to understand ourselves, the shame, confusion, or disappointment we may internalize, can start to untangle.

So, effective communication all depends on the relationship you develop with yourself. MAKE SENSE?

When we can lovingly and calmly explain to our loved ones why we need certain things, and why we act a certain way, that build up of confusion and tension can start to dissolve. Of course, communication is a two-way street, or even a multi-laned road when family dynamics are involved. The person or people on the receiving end need to hear you and feel you in order for this flow to be harmonious. In any scenario, the first place to start is always with yourself. We will get into, what to do when your communication is not being received, heard and respected, in upcoming posts, but one thing at a time so that we can digest these concepts slowly.

This ties into the Yamas and Niyamas from Patanjali's Yoga Sutras.

I'll just point out a few highlights without going into a full discourse. My upcoming eBook, titled Yamas and Niyamas For All of Us, gives a practical understanding of these principles.

Let's take Ahimsa. It is one of the Yamas and it means to practice non-harm or non-violence. When we practice non-harming self-talk, we are practicing Ahimsa. When we speak clearly and lovingly, we are practicing Ahimsa. Mind you, not every conversation is going to be fluffy and bubbly. Navigating difficult conversation clearly and effectively, without violence is Ahimsa.

We don't always like our behavior or actions, but can we practice Ahimsa even when the going gets tough?🪨

How about Svadhyaya? How about it! 🧐 This is one of the Niyamas and it means self-inquiry or self-study. The practice of Svadhyaya is deeply connected to this topic, and quite frankly, to just about every topic related to Yoga, Tantra and Ayurveda.

WHY?

Well, the entire reason we practice these things is to realize or understand THE SELF. There's no way of doing that without Svadhyaya.

So, the introvert will read this and sit quietly with it for a while, and wait for the right moment to share it.

The extrovert will read this and will take it to their meetup group and share it at the dinner table.

The Ambivert will talk about it at work or with friends, but may need to NOT talk about it again for a while.

Happy to share this journey of discovering THE SELF with all of you!!

Most importantly, BE PLAYFUL WITH THIS!!!

Learning is fun!!

With Great Respect and Love

~ Leelah Lakshmi ~

Introvert or Extrovert? That is the question.